You can learn so much about a person from reading their blog. It’s almost scary but if you are writing from the heart you are revealing a lot of personal stuff! When I have read back over my posts, I know that I’m giving you a glimpse into my heart. Each recording is filled with intimate bits and pieces of me. Today I wanted to share with you 5 things about myself that I think make up who I really am. So here it goes with the good, the bad and the ugly…
1. I am an emotional being. (I hear my friends and family laughing and saying “tell us something we don’t know). Lately, I have been referring to myself as “passionate” since emotional has this negative connotation that goes with it. And it certainly does have some bad things that come along with it…but it has some good stuff tacked on the back end too. First the bad stuff. If I think I’m right, I will fight to the end to prove it. Which means I find it hard to walk away from things AND people (I’m not good at letting go). If I have a thought about something, I have to say it (which makes me opinionated). And my friends will say this officially qualifies me as “demanding.” (Ugh, you probably are thinking you don’t want to be my friend about right now.) I wear my heart on my sleeve…take things personally. This is not a good thing…especially in the work place. So everything you say will be replayed, analyzed and thought over and then appropriately worried and fretted about (thank you, Mom). And how do I deal with all these feelings? Two ways. Food and tears…not always necessarily in that order. I don’t think I cry as much as I used to but I’m still pretty sensitive. Almost every emotion I have is expressed through crying. Happy, sad, frustrated, lonely, upset, stressed…you get the point? One minute I’m a crying sack of mess and the next I’m hunting down a king-sized Snickers…and sometimes doing both at the same time! On the flip side of that…I have a huge heart and I tend to look for the best in folks. I am easily touched. A sappy movie, a commercial, a conversation with someone else who is crying, or that homeless person on the corner can bring tears to my eyes. Some of my friends say that I wear rose colored glasses, but I believe in forgiveness, a clean slate, do-over’s and the kindness of the human race. I try to remember that everyone has their own stuff to deal with and that life is not always good to us. So I give a lot of slack to others…let them off the hook. Emotionally passionate. That’s me.
2. I’m not good at keeping up and in touch with others. Many of my friends know how much I detest my personal voicemail. I rarely listen to it and I would remove it from my cellphone if I could. I spend my days at the office on the phone and connected to my work email so I tend not to like to handle these things on the personal side. By the time I get home from work, I want to chill out in front of the TV and look at Facebook, Pinterest and read my favorite blogs. I do not typically want to chat once I’m out of the car and in my house. I try to return calls and check in with family and friends during my 45 minute commute to work but even that is not enough time to keep up. Recently, I have lost of couple of friends over un- returned phone calls and a request to be removed from a prayer email chain. It hurts me that this happened (the emotions again). The good thing about the friendships that I do have, is whether it’s been a week or months, we just pick up right where we left off. Life is busy. I’m doing the best I can to balance my work/personal life. And I know you are too (don’t worry…I won’t judge you). It’s not that I don’t care enough to respond or that I don’t think you are worth my time or my prayers. So please, know that I do care and if you do call me…please don’t leave me a voicemail. Need me quickly? A text is best. 🙂
3. I am very competitive. Rank me among my peers and it makes me crazy if I’m not at the top. I am driven by the numbers. Nothing motivates me more. It’s a game and I want to win! That makes for long days in the office trying to get ahead. And while this is a great trait to have in the sales field it’s a sucky one to carry over into the personal side of life. I often over extend myself because I hate to say NO. I think I should be able to do it all, have it all and be on top. I have to really work to remember life is not a race and I’m not competing with anyone…including myself. And this is a personal struggle of mine because I want to be at the top. The question is…the top of what?
4. I am notoriously late. I realize that this is a pet peeve of some of my friends. I get up in plenty of time, but I don’t like to wake up and jump right in the bathroom to get ready to go. I need to have a couple of cups of coffee and go through yesterday’s mail, put on some laundry and pick up around the house. I don’t like to rush so I don’t. This is how I like to start my day. I end my day by staying up as late as I can…sometimes that’s 8 p.m. and sometimes it’s midnight. But I am never ready to see the day end…it comes way too quickly. And since you can see how poorly I manage time, don’t ask me to run a quick errand with you. If I’m going, I have to look around and that means I’m going to pick up, touch and smell everything. Therefore I don’t do quick either. If we are going somewhere, we will be back when we get back.
5. I am a God-fearing woman. I was raised up in the Baptist church and am familiar with the wrath, fear and guilt that come with religion. I used to believe that God would rain down troubles on me for not going to church every Sunday, but I soon figured out that is not how God works. I do believe in the wrath of God and that the Bible…the whole Bible is His word. God knows every square inch of my heart. Nothing is hidden from Him and He accepts me just as I am. And I believe that God is constantly working on me and growing me to become the person He wants me to be. Because of this I believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. God is taking all the yucky stuff in my life and He is turning it into blessings for me. There is nothing that happens that is not a lesson to be learned or a message from the Almighty. That is what I believe. This is probably the one thing about myself that I’m actually ok with. It is the foundation of who I am. My faith, my belief…they give this life its positive spin. It fills me with hope. And you know what they say about hope…it floats. 🙂 And unfortunately, because of this, I have a low endurance for the super negative people. I think everyone deserves their trip to the pity pool but you have to make a conscious effort to get out of it and face whatever it is that life has dumped on you. And you have to look for the good to find it. There is enough ickiness in this world and if you are exuding it, I will have to hit the delete button. (Wow, I kinda put a downer on this one, huh?)
Five things…Not beautiful or fabulous when you look at each one by one. Amazing how God takes the threads of a heart full soul that is disorganized, racing about, has no regard for the clock and weaves it all together and makes it a masterpiece called “Karen Stout.” Wonderfully, imperfectly and perfectly made. To know me is to love me. Sometimes. LOL
So what 5 things make you who you are? What are you willing to share today?