Well today has been officially dubbed “Brave Tuesday” by my ecourse instructor, Liv Lane. I’m supposed to share something courageous. I’m not sure anyone realizes how much I’m revealing through these blogs because they all about where I’m at…or not!
I really don’t know how to get this out here so I’ll just blurt it out. On Aug. 1st, I had the gastric sleeve surgery. As I mentioned in my last post, Lightening the Load, I’ve lost some weight-well, it’s expected-more than expected since I’ve had 80% of my tummy removed. I haven’t necessarily tried to hide this-I just didn’t openly share it with everyone. But I realize it’s important to be true to myself…after all, I am growing into a new and better me.
It’s hard to admit that you can’t shed the pounds without the help of surgery. And a bit more embarressing is my surgery was a “revision” as I had the Lap-Band surgery in 2001 and had not been successful with it at all. Maybe that is why I didn’t tell many -the fear of failure…again. But after 40+ years of battling the scale, I was tired of letting the number inside my pants define who I was. And the older I got, the less it was about how I looked and more about how I felt and my health.
Almost 6 months later, I am 4 sizes smaller and 67 pounds lighter, but I still battle it out with food everyday. I am an emotional eater. And I am an emotional person. These last 3 weeks, I have dealt with death twice and my eating plan has been thrown to the wind. I’ve turned to food for comfort. Right or wrong, it is what it is. I am who I am. And I’m under construction in all ways.
Part of this journey is learning to forgive myself, when I get off track and to not listen to that voice inside my head that say’s “I can’t.”
I have a ways to go and I’m hoping you will hang around with me. I still need to lose 35 lbs. I still need to grow as a person, as a mother, as a daughter, as a wife, a friend…a blogger. I think we can cheer each other on, guide one another, lift each other up. I’m anxious to find the parts of me that I feel like I’ve lost. And I’m hoping you will find some of yourself here with me. Because we all have some kind of battle we’re fighting, don’t we?